The Boxes

I have in my hands two boxes which God gave me.
He said, "Put your sorrows in the black box and all your joys in the gold."
I obeyed, and in the boxes, both my sorrows and joys I stored.
The gold became heavier, but the black as light as ever.
When I opened the black box, it had a hole at the bottom.
I asked God where my sorrows went, and God said it was all with Him.
I asked God why the box had a hole and He said, "My child, the gold is for you to count your blessings, the black is for you to let go."

-author unknown-

Action

Massilon, French bishop and gifted orator, used to say, "I don't want people leaving my church saying, 'What a wonderful sermon - what a wonderful preacher!' I want them to go out saying, 'I will do something'."

-from the book "More Anecdotes of the Great" by J. Maurus

Absent-Mindedness

Louis Pasteur was dining at home with his friends. When his table companions were about to eat the grapes served for dessert, Pasteur stopped them saying, "There is nothing so dangerous as eating grapes without washing them first," and he rinsed his grapes in a glass of water.

He then expatiated on all the bacilli and microbes that may be found in a cluster of grapes. Everyone listened raptly, but suddenly the spell was broken by a general burst of laughter. The scientist had unconsciously picked up a glass of water in which he had drowned so many germs and taken one long swallow. Pasteur was not the last to laugh at his absent-mindedness.

-from the book "More Anecdotes of the Great" by J. Maurus

Ability

Errol Garner, jazz pianist, could not read or write music. Yet he commanded the respect of musical authorities and the enthusiasm of millions of listeners.

A magazine writer once asked him. "How is it you can make such wonderful music without being able to read a note?"

Garner shrugged, "A beaver don't have to go to engineering school to build a dam."

-from the book, "More Anecdotes of the Great" by J. Maurus

Religious Nuts

Two pandits from the local mandir were standing by the side of the road, putting a sign into the ground that reads:

"The End Is Near! Turn Yourself Around Now -- Before It's Too Late!"

As a car sped past them, the driver yelled, "Leave us alone, you religious nuts!"

From the curve, they heard screeching tires and a big splash.

One pandit turns to other and asks,

"Do you think the sign should just say 'Bridge Out'?"

-courtesy of www.funtoosh.com

Enthusiasm

When William Garrison was fighting against slavery, his friend Samuel May said to him, "Friend, do try to keep more cool; why are you all on fire?"

Garrison replied, "Brother May, I have need to be all on fire, for I have mountains of ice about me to melt."

-from the book, "More Anecdotes of the Great" by J.Maurus

The Three Letter Agencies

Almost 150 years ago, President Lincoln found it necessary to hire a private investigator - Mr. Alan Pinkerton.

The function that Pinkerton established actually was the beginning of the Secret Service.

Since that time federal police authority has grown to a large number of three-letter agencies - FBI, CIA, INS, IRS, DEA. Now comes a proposal for another agency: The "Airport Security Service."

Can't you see it now, the new service in their black outfits with their initials in large white letters across their backs?

courtesy by www.funtoosh.com

US Government Business Policy

It is the month of June, on the shores of the Black Sea. It is raining, and the little town looks totally deserted. It is tough times, everybody is in debt, and everybody lives on credit.

Suddenly, a rich tourist comes to town. He enters the only hotel, lays a 100 Euro note on the reception counter, and goes to inspect the rooms upstairs in order to pick one.

The hotel proprietor takes the 100 Euro note and runs to pay his debt to the butcher.

The Butcher takes the 100 Euro note, and runs to pay his debt to the pig grower.

The pig grower takes the 100 Euro note, and runs to pay his debt to the supplier of his feed and fuel.

The supplier of feed and fuel takes the 100 Euro note and runs to pay his debt to the town prostitute that in these hard times, gave her services on credit.

The prostitute runs to the hotel, and pays off her debt with the 100 Euro note to the hotel proprietor to pay for the rooms that she rented when she brought her clients there.

The hotel proprietor then lays the 100 Euro note back on the counter so that the rich tourist will not suspect anything.

At that moment, the rich tourist comes down after inspecting the rooms, and takes his 100 Euro note, after saying that he did not like any of the rooms, and leaves town.

No one earned anything. However, the whole town is now without debt, and looks to the future with a lot of optimism.

courtesy by www.funtoosh.com

A Very Simple Operation

A man was wheeling himself frantically down the hall of the hospital in his wheelchair, just before his operation. A nurse stopped him and asked, “What’s the matter?”

He said, “I heard the nurse say, ‘It’s a very simple operation, don’t worry, I’m sure it will be all right.”

“She was just trying to comfort you, what’s so frightening about that?”

“She wasn’t talking to me. She was talking to the doctor!”


courtesy by www.funtoosh.com