Weird AMERICAN Life

See how the life in America can be confusing sometimes!

Many, many years ago When I was twenty-four, I got married to a widow, Pretty as could be. This widow had a grown-up daughter With flowing hair of red. My father fell in love with her, And soon the two were wed.

This made my dad my son-in-law And changed my very life. Now my daughter was my mother, For she was my father's wife. To complicate the matters worse, Although it brought me joy. I soon became the father Of a bouncing baby boy.

My little baby then became A brother-in-law to dad. And so became my uncle, Though it made me very sad. For if he was my uncle, Then that also made him brother to the widow's grown-up-daughter Who, of course, was my stepmother.

CONFUSED??... Relax... Go ahead..

My Father's wife then had a son, Who kept them on the run. And he became my grandson, For he was my daughter's son, My wife is now my mother's mother And it makes me blue. Because, although she is my wife, She is my grandma too.

If my wife is my grandmother, Then I am her grandchild. And every time I think of it, It simply drives me wild.

For now I have become The strangest case you ever saw. As the husband of my grandmother, I am my own grandpa!

-end-
-courtesy by www.funtoosh.com

Value of doing business with ICICI Bank

Rajiv and Mona are flying to Australia for a two-week vacation to celebrate their 40th anniversary.

Suddenly, over the public address system, the Captain announces, "Ladies and Gentlemen, I am afraid I have some very bad news. Our engines have ceased functioning and we will attempt an emergency landing. Luckily, I see an uncharted island below us and we should be able to land on the beach. However, the odds are that we may never be rescued and will have to live on the island for the rest of our lives!"

Thanks to the skill of the flight crew, the plane lands safely on the island.

An hour later Rajiv turns to his wife and asks, "Mona, did we pay our Rs 5 lakh deposit cheque yet to ICICI Bank?"

"No, sweetheart," she responds.

Rajiv, still shaken from the crash landing, then asks, "Mona, did we pay our ICICI Bank Master card yet?"

"Oh no! I'm sorry. I forgot to send the cheque," she says.

"One last thing, Mona. Did you remember to send cheques for the car loan to them too this month?" he asks.

"Oh, forgive me, Rajiv," begged Mona. "I didn't send that one, either."

Rajiv grabs her and gives her the biggest hug in 40 years, Mona pulls away and asks him, "So, why did you hug me?"

Rajiv answers, "We are saved, they'll definitely find us!"

-end-
*courtesy by www.funtoosh.com

Cricket in Heaven

Sachin and Ganguly, 75 and 80 years old respectively are sitting on a park bench feeding pigeons and talking about cricket, like they do every day. Sachin turns to Sourav and says, "Do you think there's cricket in heaven?"

Ganguly thinks about it for a minute and replies, "I dunno. But let's make a deal. If I die first, I'll come back and tell you if there's cricket in heaven, and if you die first, you do the same."

They shake on it and sadly a few months later, poor Sachin passes away.

One day Ganguly is sitting there feeding the pigeons when he hears a voice whisper, "Sourav, Sourav!"

Ganguly responds, "Sachin! Is that you?"

"Yes," whispers Sachin's ghost.

Ganguly asks, "So, is there cricket in heaven?" "Well," says Sachin, "I've got good news and bad news." "Gimme the good news first," says Ganguly.

Sachin says, "Well there is cricket in heaven." Ganguly says, "That's great! What news could be bad enough to ruin that!?"

Sachin sighs and whispers, "You and me, We are going to open the innings on Friday."

-end-
*coutesy of http://www.funtoosh.com/

My Little Angel's Tea

One day my mother was out, and my dad was in charge of me. I was maybe two and had just recovered from an accident. Someone had given me a little tea set as a get-well gift, and it was one of my favorite toys.

Daddy was in the living room engrossed in the evening news when I brought him a little cup of tea, which was just water. After several cups of tea and lots of praise for such yummy tea, my mom came home. My dad made her wait in the living room to watch me bring him a cup of tea, because it was "just the cutest thing." My mom waited, and sure enough, here I come down the hall with a cup of tea for daddy, and she watches him drink it.

Then my mom talks to my dad, "Did it ever occur to you that the only place she can reach to get water is the toilet?"

-end-
*courtesy by www.funtoosh.com
*photo by http://tbn3.google.com/images?q=tbn:Ir4PGuh5neJZPM:http://blogs.hgtv.com/hgtv/etips/tea%2520stick.jpg

How Indian Mind Works

An Indian man walks into a bank in
New York City and asks for the loan officer.
He tells the loan officer that he is going to India on business
for two weeks and needs to borrow $5,000.

The bank officer tells him that the bank
will need some form of security for the loan,
so the Indian man hands over the keys
and documents of new Ferrari parked
on the street in front of the bank.
He produces the title and everything checks out.
The loan officer agrees to accept
the car as collateral for the loan.

The bank's president and its officers
all enjoy a good laugh at the Indian
for using a $250,000 Ferrari
as collateral against a $5,000 loan.
An employee of the bank then
drives the Ferrari into the bank's
underground garage and parks it there.

Two weeks later, the Indian returns,
repays the $5,000 and the interest,
which comes to $15.41.
The loan officer says,
"Sir, we are very happy to have had your business,
and this transaction has worked out very nicely,
but we are a little puzzled.
While you were away,
we checked you out and found that you are a multi millionaire.
What puzzles us is, why would you bother to borrow "$5,000" ?

The Indian replies:

"Where else in New York City can I park my car
for two weeks for only $15.41
and expect it to be there when I return'"

Ah, the mind of the Indian...


This is why India is shining

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-author unknown-

-photo by http://www.auto-power-girl.com/high-resolution-wallpapers/novitec-ferrari-599-gtb-fiorano/novitec-rosso-ferrari-599-gtb-fiorano-2008-1.jpg

A Violinist in the Metro

A man sat at a metro station in Washington DC and started to play the violin; it was a cold January morning. He played six Bach pieces for about 45 minutes. During that time, since it was rush hour, it was calculated that thousands of people went through the station, most of them on their way to work.

Three minutes went by and a middle aged man noticed there was musician playing. He slowed his pace and stopped for a few seconds and then hurried on to meet his schedule.

A minute later, the violinist received his first dollar tip: a woman threw the money in the till and without stopping continued to walk.

A few minutes later, someone leaned against the wall to listen to him, but the man looked at his watch and started to walk again.. Clearly he was late for work.

The one who paid the most attention was a 3 year old boy. His mother tagged him along, hurried but the kid stopped to look at the violinist. Finally the mother pushed hard and the child continued to walk turning his head all the time. This action was repeated by several other children. All the parents, without exception, forced them to move on.

In the 45 minutes the musician played, only 6 people stopped and stayed for a while. About 20 gave him money but continued to walk their normal pace. He collected $32. When he finished playing and silence took over, no one noticed it. No one applauded, nor was there any recognition.

No one knew this but the violinist was Joshua Bell, one of the best musicians in the world. He played one of the most intricate pieces ever written with a violin worth 3.5 million dollars.

Two days before his playing in the subway, Joshua Bell sold out at a theater in Boston and the seats averaged $100.

This is a real story. Joshua Bell playing incognito in the metro station was organized by the Washington Post as part of a social experiment about perception, taste and priorities of people.

The outlines were: in a commonplace environment at an inappropriate hour:

Do we perceive beauty?

Do we stop to appreciate it?

Do we recognize the talent in an unexpected context?

One of the possible conclusions from this experience could be:

If we do not have a moment to stop and listen to one of the best musicians in the world playing the best music ever written, how many other things are we missing?

THINK ABOUT IT!!

-end-
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*photo by http://tbn0.google.com/images?q=tbn:NzpUYhHpziO9kM:http://violinvictoria.com/yahoo_site_admin/assets/images/vladstudio_violin_800x600.201162904_std.jpg