A woman was out golfing one day when she hit the ball into the woods.
She went into the woods to look for it and found a frog in a trap.
The frog said to her, "If you release me from this trap, I will grant
you three wishes."
The woman freed the frog, and the frog said, "Thank you, but I failed
to mention that there was a condition to your wishes. Whatever you wish
for, your husband will get Ten times of that The woman said, "That's okay."
For her first wish, she wanted to be the most beautiful woman in the world.
The frog warned her, "You do realize that this wish will also make your
husband the most handsome man in the world, an Adonis whom women will
flock to".
The woman replied, "That's okay, because I will be the most beautiful
Woman and he will have eyes only for me." So, KAZAM-she's the most
beautiful Woman in the world!
For her second wish, she wanted to be the richest woman in the world.
The frog said, That will make your husband the richest man in the
world and he will be ten times richer than you.
The woman said, "That's okay, because what's mine is his and what's
his is mine."
So, KAZAM-she's the richest woman in the world!
The frog then inquired about her third wish, and she answered,
"I'd like a mild heart attack!!"
Moral of the story: Women are clever. Don't mess with them.
Attention female readers: This is the end of the joke for you, Stop
here and continue feeling good.....
Male readers: Continue
The man had a heart attack ten times milder than his wife!
Moral of the story: Women are really dumb but think they're really smart.
Let them continue to think that way and just enjoy the show.
PS: If you are a woman and is still reading this, it only goes to
show that women never listen!!! that is why you read it even after
our advise to stop!
-end-
-courtesy by www.funtoosh.com-
Saturday, May 16, 2009
Women-oh- Women
A woman was out golfing one day when she hit the ball into the woods.
She went into the woods to look for it and found a frog in a trap.
The frog said to her, "If you release me from this trap, I will grant
you three wishes."
The woman freed the frog, and the frog said, "Thank you, but I failed
to mention that there was a condition to your wishes. Whatever you wish
for, your husband will get Ten times of that The woman said, "That's okay."
For her first wish, she wanted to be the most beautiful woman in the world.
The frog warned her, "You do realize that this wish will also make your
husband the most handsome man in the world, an Adonis whom women will
flock to".
The woman replied, "That's okay, because I will be the most beautiful
Woman and he will have eyes only for me." So, KAZAM-she's the most
beautiful Woman in the world!
For her second wish, she wanted to be the richest woman in the world.
The frog said, That will make your husband the richest man in the
world and he will be ten times richer than you.
The woman said, "That's okay, because what's mine is his and what's
his is mine."
So, KAZAM-she's the richest woman in the world!
The frog then inquired about her third wish, and she answered,
"I'd like a mild heart attack!!"
Moral of the story: Women are clever. Don't mess with them.
Attention female readers: This is the end of the joke for you, Stop
here and continue feeling good.....
Male readers: Continue
The man had a heart attack ten times milder than his wife!
Moral of the story: Women are really dumb but think they're really smart.
Let them continue to think that way and just enjoy the show.
PS: If you are a woman and is still reading this, it only goes to
show that women never listen!!! that is why you read it even after
our advise to stop!
-end-
-courtesy by www.funtoosh.com-
She went into the woods to look for it and found a frog in a trap.
The frog said to her, "If you release me from this trap, I will grant
you three wishes."
The woman freed the frog, and the frog said, "Thank you, but I failed
to mention that there was a condition to your wishes. Whatever you wish
for, your husband will get Ten times of that The woman said, "That's okay."
For her first wish, she wanted to be the most beautiful woman in the world.
The frog warned her, "You do realize that this wish will also make your
husband the most handsome man in the world, an Adonis whom women will
flock to".
The woman replied, "That's okay, because I will be the most beautiful
Woman and he will have eyes only for me." So, KAZAM-she's the most
beautiful Woman in the world!
For her second wish, she wanted to be the richest woman in the world.
The frog said, That will make your husband the richest man in the
world and he will be ten times richer than you.
The woman said, "That's okay, because what's mine is his and what's
his is mine."
So, KAZAM-she's the richest woman in the world!
The frog then inquired about her third wish, and she answered,
"I'd like a mild heart attack!!"
Moral of the story: Women are clever. Don't mess with them.
Attention female readers: This is the end of the joke for you, Stop
here and continue feeling good.....
Male readers: Continue
The man had a heart attack ten times milder than his wife!
Moral of the story: Women are really dumb but think they're really smart.
Let them continue to think that way and just enjoy the show.
PS: If you are a woman and is still reading this, it only goes to
show that women never listen!!! that is why you read it even after
our advise to stop!
-end-
-courtesy by www.funtoosh.com-
Monday, May 11, 2009
Getting Married in Heaven
On their way to get married, a young Catholic couple is involved in a fatal car accident.
The couple find themselves sitting outside the Pearly Gates waiting for St. Peter to process them into Heaven. While waiting, they begin to wonder: Could they possibly get married in Heaven?
When St. Peter showed up, they asked him.
St. Peter said, “I don't know. This is the first time anyone has asked. Let me go find out.” and he leaves.
The couple sat and waited, and waited. Two months passed and the couple are still waiting. As they waited, they discussed that if they were allowed to get married in Heaven, what was the eternal aspect of it all. “What if it doesn't work?” they wondered, “Are we stuck together forever?”
After yet another month, St. Peter finally returns, looking somewhat bedraggled.
“Yes,” he informs the couple, “you can get married in Heaven.”
“Great!” said the couple, “But we were just wondering, what if things don't work out? Could we also get a divorce in Heaven?”
St. Peter, red-faced with anger, slammed his foot onto the ground.
“What's wrong?” asked the frightened couple.
“OH, COME ON!” St. Peter shouted, “It took me three months to find a priest up here! Do you have any idea how long it'll take me to find a lawyer?!”
-end
-courtesy by www.funtoosh.com
The couple find themselves sitting outside the Pearly Gates waiting for St. Peter to process them into Heaven. While waiting, they begin to wonder: Could they possibly get married in Heaven?
When St. Peter showed up, they asked him.
St. Peter said, “I don't know. This is the first time anyone has asked. Let me go find out.” and he leaves.
The couple sat and waited, and waited. Two months passed and the couple are still waiting. As they waited, they discussed that if they were allowed to get married in Heaven, what was the eternal aspect of it all. “What if it doesn't work?” they wondered, “Are we stuck together forever?”
After yet another month, St. Peter finally returns, looking somewhat bedraggled.
“Yes,” he informs the couple, “you can get married in Heaven.”
“Great!” said the couple, “But we were just wondering, what if things don't work out? Could we also get a divorce in Heaven?”
St. Peter, red-faced with anger, slammed his foot onto the ground.
“What's wrong?” asked the frightened couple.
“OH, COME ON!” St. Peter shouted, “It took me three months to find a priest up here! Do you have any idea how long it'll take me to find a lawyer?!”
-end
-courtesy by www.funtoosh.com
Unlocking Men
IT'S A GUY THING
Translated:* There is no rational thought pattern connected with it, and you have no chance at all of making it logical.
CAN I HELP WITH DINNER?
Translated:* Why isn't it already on the table?
UH HUH, SURE, HONEY, OR YES, DEAR
Translated:* Absolutely nothing. It's a conditioned response.
IT WOULD TAKE TOO LONG TO EXPLAIN
Translated:* I have no idea how it works.
TAKE A BREAK, HONEY. YOU'RE WORKING TOO HARD.
Translated:* I can't hear the game over the vacuum cleaner.
THAT'S INTERESTING, DEAR.
Translated:* Are you still talking?
YOU KNOW HOW BAD MY MEMORY IS.
Translated:* I remember the theme song to 'F Troop,' the address of the first girl I ever kissed and the vehicle identification numbers of every car
I've ever owned but I forgot your birthday.
OH, DON'T FUSS, I JUST CUT MYSELF. IT'S NO BIG DEAL.
Translated:* I have actually severed a limb but will bleed to death before I admit that I'm hurt.
HEY, I'VE GOT MY REASONS FOR WHAT I'M DOING.
Translated:* And I sure hope I think of some pretty soon.
I CAN'T FIND IT.
Translated:* It didn't fall into my outstretched hands, so I'm completely clueless.
WHAT DID I DO THIS TIME?
Translated:* What did you catch me at?
I'M NOT LOST. I KNOW EXACTLY WHERE WE ARE.
Translated:* No one will ever see us alive again.
WE SHARE THE HOUSEWORK.
Translated:* I make the messes; she cleans them up.
-end
-courtesy by www.funtoosh.com
Translated:* There is no rational thought pattern connected with it, and you have no chance at all of making it logical.
CAN I HELP WITH DINNER?
Translated:* Why isn't it already on the table?
UH HUH, SURE, HONEY, OR YES, DEAR
Translated:* Absolutely nothing. It's a conditioned response.
IT WOULD TAKE TOO LONG TO EXPLAIN
Translated:* I have no idea how it works.
TAKE A BREAK, HONEY. YOU'RE WORKING TOO HARD.
Translated:* I can't hear the game over the vacuum cleaner.
THAT'S INTERESTING, DEAR.
Translated:* Are you still talking?
YOU KNOW HOW BAD MY MEMORY IS.
Translated:* I remember the theme song to 'F Troop,' the address of the first girl I ever kissed and the vehicle identification numbers of every car
I've ever owned but I forgot your birthday.
OH, DON'T FUSS, I JUST CUT MYSELF. IT'S NO BIG DEAL.
Translated:* I have actually severed a limb but will bleed to death before I admit that I'm hurt.
HEY, I'VE GOT MY REASONS FOR WHAT I'M DOING.
Translated:* And I sure hope I think of some pretty soon.
I CAN'T FIND IT.
Translated:* It didn't fall into my outstretched hands, so I'm completely clueless.
WHAT DID I DO THIS TIME?
Translated:* What did you catch me at?
I'M NOT LOST. I KNOW EXACTLY WHERE WE ARE.
Translated:* No one will ever see us alive again.
WE SHARE THE HOUSEWORK.
Translated:* I make the messes; she cleans them up.
-end
-courtesy by www.funtoosh.com
Unlocking Men
IT'S A GUY THING
Translated:* There is no rational thought pattern connected with it, and you have no chance at all of making it logical.
CAN I HELP WITH DINNER?
Translated:* Why isn't it already on the table?
UH HUH, SURE, HONEY, OR YES, DEAR
Translated:* Absolutely nothing. It's a conditioned response.
IT WOULD TAKE TOO LONG TO EXPLAIN
Translated:* I have no idea how it works.
TAKE A BREAK, HONEY. YOU'RE WORKING TOO HARD.
Translated:* I can't hear the game over the vacuum cleaner.
THAT'S INTERESTING, DEAR.
Translated:* Are you still talking?
YOU KNOW HOW BAD MY MEMORY IS.
Translated:* I remember the theme song to 'F Troop,' the address of the first girl I ever kissed and the vehicle identification numbers of every car
I've ever owned but I forgot your birthday.
OH, DON'T FUSS, I JUST CUT MYSELF. IT'S NO BIG DEAL.
Translated:* I have actually severed a limb but will bleed to death before I admit that I'm hurt.
HEY, I'VE GOT MY REASONS FOR WHAT I'M DOING.
Translated:* And I sure hope I think of some pretty soon.
I CAN'T FIND IT.
Translated:* It didn't fall into my outstretched hands, so I'm completely clueless.
WHAT DID I DO THIS TIME?
Translated:* What did you catch me at?
I'M NOT LOST. I KNOW EXACTLY WHERE WE ARE.
Translated:* No one will ever see us alive again.
WE SHARE THE HOUSEWORK.
Translated:* I make the messes; she cleans them up.
-end
-courtesy by www.funtoosh.com
Translated:* There is no rational thought pattern connected with it, and you have no chance at all of making it logical.
CAN I HELP WITH DINNER?
Translated:* Why isn't it already on the table?
UH HUH, SURE, HONEY, OR YES, DEAR
Translated:* Absolutely nothing. It's a conditioned response.
IT WOULD TAKE TOO LONG TO EXPLAIN
Translated:* I have no idea how it works.
TAKE A BREAK, HONEY. YOU'RE WORKING TOO HARD.
Translated:* I can't hear the game over the vacuum cleaner.
THAT'S INTERESTING, DEAR.
Translated:* Are you still talking?
YOU KNOW HOW BAD MY MEMORY IS.
Translated:* I remember the theme song to 'F Troop,' the address of the first girl I ever kissed and the vehicle identification numbers of every car
I've ever owned but I forgot your birthday.
OH, DON'T FUSS, I JUST CUT MYSELF. IT'S NO BIG DEAL.
Translated:* I have actually severed a limb but will bleed to death before I admit that I'm hurt.
HEY, I'VE GOT MY REASONS FOR WHAT I'M DOING.
Translated:* And I sure hope I think of some pretty soon.
I CAN'T FIND IT.
Translated:* It didn't fall into my outstretched hands, so I'm completely clueless.
WHAT DID I DO THIS TIME?
Translated:* What did you catch me at?
I'M NOT LOST. I KNOW EXACTLY WHERE WE ARE.
Translated:* No one will ever see us alive again.
WE SHARE THE HOUSEWORK.
Translated:* I make the messes; she cleans them up.
-end
-courtesy by www.funtoosh.com
Lemon Squeeze at the Bar
The local bar was so sure that its bartender was the strongest man
around that they had a standing Rs 10,000 bet. The bartender would
squeeze a lemon until all the juice ran into a glass, and hand the
lemon to a patron. Anyone who could squeeze one more drop of juice
out would win the money.
Many people had tried over time but nobody could do it. One day,
a scrawny little man came in, wearing thick glasses.
"I'd like to try the bet," he said in a tiny, squeaky voice.
After the laughter had died down, the bartender grabbed a lemon,
and squeezed away. He handed the wrinkled remains of the rind to
the little man. But the crowd's laughter turned to total silence as
the man clenched his fist around the lemon and six drops fell into
the glass.
As the crowd cheered, the bartender paid the Rs 10,000 and asked
the little man what he did for a living. Was he a lumberjack,
or a weightlifter, or what?
"I work for the Income Tax department."
-end
-courtesy by www.funtoosh.com
around that they had a standing Rs 10,000 bet. The bartender would
squeeze a lemon until all the juice ran into a glass, and hand the
lemon to a patron. Anyone who could squeeze one more drop of juice
out would win the money.
Many people had tried over time but nobody could do it. One day,
a scrawny little man came in, wearing thick glasses.
"I'd like to try the bet," he said in a tiny, squeaky voice.
After the laughter had died down, the bartender grabbed a lemon,
and squeezed away. He handed the wrinkled remains of the rind to
the little man. But the crowd's laughter turned to total silence as
the man clenched his fist around the lemon and six drops fell into
the glass.
As the crowd cheered, the bartender paid the Rs 10,000 and asked
the little man what he did for a living. Was he a lumberjack,
or a weightlifter, or what?
"I work for the Income Tax department."
-end
-courtesy by www.funtoosh.com
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